awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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