i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
