So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
