WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
