I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
