you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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