Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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