I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
