we made out on top of his cat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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