Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
