It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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