At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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