Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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