Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
