You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
