today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
