She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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