Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
