Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize