so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
