So drunk its hurt
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just want to make out with him forever
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
