Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
