I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
