I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
