sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
