help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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