I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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