Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
