this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
