at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
