The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
