Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
