Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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