at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
