He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
