I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no, he came in my armpit
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
