You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
