Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We had sex on a dog bed..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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