I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
