two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
