WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
