I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know her cup size but not her name....
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