What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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