The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
