We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
