new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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