Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
