You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
