if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
