I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
