Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
