Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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