I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Panties = found
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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